TSA Parody is Verbotten

The Transportation Security Administration is mad at us lowly subjects and now Congress has stood by their loving Gestapo.

No kidding, congress is considering a bill that would outlaw any parody of the TSA.

Apparently, they want to harass and molest us without fear of backlash from Saturday Night Live.

Well, I have news for you TSA and congress; piss off. If this bill passes I will make TSA videos, sell TSA t-shirts, and just generally mock the TSA every chance I get. I will paint my car in TSA colors with mocking slogans and drive around at the airport if necessary to make my point.

You are declaring war on not only the First Amendment but on common sense. I accept your declaration of war and I bet thousands of others will also accept.

And by the way, a righteous government would never be afraid of criticism. Hitler was though.

Don't Mess With Texas -- Oh Wait, Go Ahead. Texas is More Spineless than France

Texas, the self-proclaimed toughest state in the Union just folded to TSA pressure and failed to pass a bill that would prohibit molesting American citizens as a condition to travel or entering a public place.

Texas, you suck. You cowards gave up without even trying and I for one am appalled. We were counting on you to help us in the nullification battle against our federal government and thought you were actually going to fight with us. You were perfectly poised too. You have control of massive resources in telecommunications, energy, and food production you could have used as leverage but you totally blew it.

So now we know your true character is to fold under pressure you can piss off. We will nullify without you, you spineless cowards.

TSA Adds Mockery to its Oppression Repertoire

The TSA has a choir? Two of them to be exact.

This is an outrage. First, our taxes pay the TSA to sexually abuse us and now we are paying them to openly mock us? What happened to you America?

Having TSA agents in a choir singing to passengers in airports is nothing more than a mockery of both us and Christmas. They stand there and sing patriotic hymns while their co-workers continue sexually touching our children and people are enjoying it. They sing about liberty and about living in a free republic as if they are defending freedom while they actually epitomize tyranny and people are gobbling it up.

America, if you have really become too stupid to even know when you are being mocked by your oppressors then you deserve your servitude.

Government Sexual Abuse Required

My crotch is a no-fly zone. Strangers are not allowed to touch it and no one is allowed to photograph it. Because I subscribe to these principles of modesty I cannot fly. My religion simply prohibits it now. The reason is because in order to fly in this "free" country the TSA now requires you to either pass through an X-ray machine that takes a nude photograph of you or you have be physically molested by a government agent. Both are against my religion.

Others are joining me and fighting the TSA on these issues. Drudge today, in fact, is littered with headlines about these battles.

Here are a few:

TSA Hit With Lawsuits As Revolt Explodes

EDITORIAL: Big Sister's police state
TSA's tyrannical tactics threaten American freedoms

State-sponsored Sexual Harassment

I like the idea of lawsuits and mass-refusals to submit but I have several other resistance ideas that would be more fun.

-- Married couples could frisk each other in line as a demonstration of the sexual nature of such intrusions. The great part here is that the couple would be arrested for indecency even though they are engaging in the same conduct that is REQUIRED by the TSA.

-- Someone could show up in nothing but a trench coat (full on naked underneath) and tell the TSA agents you did it for them. This too would result in arrest even though the naked X-ray machine is actually worse as it takes a photo of your nude body rather than merely exposing it for a few seconds.

-- People could just start moaning in a sexual manner as the agents grope. Awkward, yes but definitely hilarious.

-- People could wear t-shirts that say things like "My grandpa went to Hawaii and all I got was this lousy t-shirt ... AND GROPED," "TSA agents do it better," or "Don't touch my junk!"

-- Carry your own rubber gloves for the agent to use or better yet tell the agent to take his off because hands are more sensitive without gloves.

-- Go through the line over and over again to see how many times you can before the TSA snaps and arrests you.

Regardless of which form of resistance you choose, my point cannot be overstated. It is against my religion to photograph me naked and it is against my religion to allow strangers to touch me sexually. Incidentally, such acts are also against my religion when done to children. Now, I understand that the government doesn't care about my religious beliefs and that it simply wants to oppressively control its subjects. Nonetheless, these intrusions mean something to me.

Now I know that many other people of my same religion do not consider these TSA measures problematic but they are dead wrong. They are also missing the point that groping and photographing people nude against their will are illegal acts when done under any other circumstances.

I hope you all resist in some way. Whether on religious, privacy, safety, or modesty grounds, this issue is simple. We simply cannot allow our government to sexually abuse us or our children. I personally will never allow either to happen to me or my children.

NEVER.