Unstoppable = Uncrappable

I just saw the movie Unstoppable with Denzel Washington and Chris Pine and I have a few complaints (and really bad puns) because it completely sucked. Completely.

1. Cinematography? The worst thing since the headache inducing Borne series. Seriously, I hate shakey-cam and this movie took it to a whole new level by adding rotating and zooming shots with the camera flying around and toward everyone and everything. And then the moron of a director actually shot half the scenes through reflective glass making each shot suck that much more. The photography was so bad I actually felt nauseated watching this train wreck of a movie.
2. Plot? Nope, not even close. A train runs away and gets stopped in the nick of time. Nothing to see here people. Move along.
3. Character development? No again. Indeed, these characters were so badly developed I actually got to where I wanted them all to die in a horrible crash. Spoiler alert -- they don't.
4. Good action? Not even close. A train runs away and crashes into a few things randomly left on the track. Lame. YouTube has better crashes.
5. Believable and/or enjoyable dialog? No way. Old guy argues with new guy until they inevitably bond. Snore.
6. Realism. Not even close. It took no less than 3 impossible mistakes to even get the train moving on its own and once it did people kept inexplicably putting things in its path to be inevitably destroyed. It's like the morons forgot a train was even coming. Seriously, in what reality would cops park their cars in a perfect line right next to a runaway train and the useless devices clamped to the tracks to stop it? If cops in real life were half as inept in real life and they are in movies I would never pull over for them again. Oh, I almost forgot the magic raindrops. Not only did they appear on the windows of the train and no where else without any rain ever taking place (probably a global warming thing) but they never moved or dripped despite the 75 mph winds. Does that happen when you drive in the rain? It doesn't to me either.
7. Propaganda? Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. This movie was so filled with liberal propaganda I almost tore my baby seal leather jacket in laughter. Not only does a black woman run the rail yard but the problem was created in the first place by a white hillbilly moron. At least it wasn't a drunk Indian. And then all the male, white, middle-aged, and overweight corporate executives play golf and calculate the loss of profits rather than adopting homeless puppies. It was transparent in its political agenda to say the least.

I could go on to complain but I seriously want to pretend this movie never happened. Has Denzel ever made a really good movie? Ever? Think about it.

Now for a few more pun type quips.

This movie was so bad my hatred for it was Unstoppable.
Chris Pine was in this movie. Oh how I pined for it to end.
Denzel? More like Den-zon't.

I know, not good, but either was Unstoppable so deal with it.