Geez Burgermeister, Just Ban All of the Toys Already

The European Union has almost banned toys. I say go ahead and ban them all you morons.

Under new EU regulations children are banned from blowing up balloons or blowing into party whistles. The new regulations also regulate magnetic fishing games and teddy bears too. Yes, I know this is so ridiculous it sounds like I am making it up, but I am not.

This is something to take very seriously despite the ludicrous nature of the regulations. Any governmental agency that seeks to micromanage your life should be summarily and permanently abolished. Whether or not my child blows a whistle, inflates a balloon, or owns a non-washable teddy bear is my decision not yours. Government should not feel empowered to raise my children and if it is willing to make these types of regulations it is willing to do literally anything in the name of safety.

For example, why not euthanize any children in a family over one, the elderly, and disabled people in the name of safety. They are the ones getting hurt more often so they, like balloons and whistles, should be eliminated. No more broken hips, siblings bumping heads together, or back injuries pushing your spouse's wheelchair around sounds like the EU's version of a safe society.

Why not just mandate everyone wear helmets at all times and outlaw tanning beds, sports, and motor vehicles altogether if you really want safety. No, once again the government is lying. This is not about safely it is about tyranny and to that I say, mission accomplished.